Decisions

God always listen to your prayer, only we have to be patient for the answer.

At the next chapter of my life I would say that this journey was the better part of my life. Before I can’t understand why HE gave those challenges that I had but now I clearly understand why HE GIVE IT TO ME.

My prayers were answered when I reach that stage of my life. He gave me lots of friends where they could understand me better. After all the things that happened to me I just SMILE right now and just laugh all the things had done.

All things that happened in my life, the tears that fell on my face were all worth it. I waited for the time there’s someone will appreciate me as what I am. It all happened when I finally met my special group. They embraced me; they hold me as their own family. They even trusted and loved me.

Walang kapantay ang pagmamahal nila sa akin. They were answered to my prayers, that before they came to my life, all the pain were gone. Tinuring nila akong “anak” na everytime I need their helped their on my side. There the one I waited forever. Hindi nila ako pinabayaan. Na lahat ng mga pagsubok na hinarap namin sabay sabay at walang iwanan sa ERE yan ang mga kaibigang hindi ako hinamak, hindi ako inalipusta, hindi ako ginawang tao-tauhan lang. ang laki ng utang na loob ko sa kanila, kung hindi dahil sa kanila siguro mahihirapan akong makapagtapos ng pag-aaral. Sila ang sandalan ko at nasasandalan din naman nila ako.

It all started in a simple forum in our 1^st year, and after that, nagtuloy tuloy na ang samahan namin. Masasabi kong the BEST talaga ang maging open ka sa kaibigan mo dahil kahit anong mangyari hindi ka iiwanan.

Everday I am very thankful with what I had. No more worries of being humiliated when I am with them. They always protected me for those who treated me bad. They were my shield when everything’s goes wrong. That’s what I am blessed, I knew them for a short period of time.

Now even they have their own family and own life they always assure that they LOVED me and that’s what I am dreaming of. Thanks for the forever friendship and everlasting love you just gave.

Thanks for being part of my life.

Thanks GOD for giving them in my life, for answering my prayers na kahit minsan I don’t understand why…

God may not always come exactly when you call Him but He is always on time.

Jeepney

Another story that I want to share is about jeepney.

Jeepney is a public vehicle which may help you to go in different places. And inside of it are the passanger with different personality.

Let me first ask you something, is there one point in your life that before you sit comfortable, you take a glance of the people or do you stare at people that catch your attention?

But before you answer that I want you to understand and analyze some situation that might affect your actions.

Kapag na babanggit o nakakakita ako ng jeep, isa lang ang tumatatak sa isip ko ang TAKOT.

Hindi ko maintindihan pero sa tuwing sasakay ako ay may kaakibat na takot sa dibdib ko.

Siguro para sa inyo madali lang ang sumakay sa pampasaherong sasakyan. Pero sa akin ay hindi. Maraming bagay o pangyayari ang hindi nating maiiwasan kapag sumakay ka sa jeep.

Hindi ko na realize na ang simpleng bagay na pagsakay ay mahirap para sa akin.

Sa simula pa lang na itungtong ko ang mga paa ko sa jeep ay na lingos na lahat ng mga nakasakay dito. Hanggang sa pag upo at pag-andar muli ng jeep ay nakatingin nasa akin ang ilan.

Hindi ko sila masisisi dahil kakaiba ako pero masakit para sa akin yun, kaya ipinapaling ko na lang lagi ang ulo ko sa labas para maaliw ako.

Maaliw ang isip ko na hindi nila ako tinitingnan at pinagmamasdan mula ulo hanggang paa. 

Mahirap mang alisin sa tao pero yun na tayo curious pero ang salitang ito ay nakakasakit na, lalo na kung sumosobra at nagiging judgemental na sa huli.

Na minsan ay nagugulat na sila sa oras na ipaling ko muli ang ulo ko sa kanila.

Naisip ba ng mga taong nakatingin sa akin na hindi lang ako ang kakaiba sa loob ng jeep na ito.

At maging sa pagbaba ko ay pagbubulungan pa nila ako. Gaano kahirap para sa akin ang gawin ito araw-araw.

Minsan nakakasawa na din bale walain ang mga nangyayari.

Pero ang nagiging lakas ko lang sa muling paghakbang ng mga paang ito sa lupa may kasama ako at katabi pa.

Si GOD….

God lets us go through hard times in life so that we may appreciate our blessings in the end. God is good always.

God said, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.

And now I understand why HE gave me this condition for you to know and realize who you are as a person. Are you a type of person that take a glance to the person with disability or the person that are not contented in just looking at him/her and worst staring.

I hope I could open your mind, which action you must do and someone might not be offended.

In every situation you must think first the feelings of other people.

We live by faith, not by sight." -2 Corinthians 5:7

Thank you and GODBLESS US.

TRIALS

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

I thought I can’t handle all the bad things, and soon I want to give up.

HE gave me trials that I never imagine to happen.

when I was in grade school and soon to take an entrance exam to continue my studies, I  passed it but unfortunately at the last stage, the interview level I've failed because they saw me. 

They saw my condition and that’s their basis. That judgment made me cry a lot. They said I am not eligible in that school because of my condition, and many things they said why I am not qualified, so many reasons and I couldn't understand why. The first discrimination I've experienced. My parents never know that every night I cry in my room silently, believing that there’s something wrong in me. 

Despite of my condition, my parents encourage me to continue my studies.My parents never give up and find another school wherein I can continue my studies and finally forget about what happen. 

Even there are many things I am afraid of, dealing with peers and facing my fears. We all know that high school is the best part of our life; there are many things that might happen in this stage of life and that are what I am afraid of.That’s school brings me hope and strength to pursue my dreams. Although I am fit in that school there is some trials and judgment I’ve encounter.

First, the TRUST because of that hardship that I’ve experience it is not easy for me to trust anyone. At first I’ve become loner, it is so hard to become like me. That anyone could easily judge me because of what they saw outside. But sooner and later it finally change.

Second, the fears of being rejected again. As time goes by, rejection is the most thing I hate to hear. I don’t want to happen it again, rejected by the one you trust and being excluded in the group.

As what I’ve said before my parents become very strict in me, they are providing all the needs and they never wanted to be hurt once again by the people around me. They always protected me, and always assured that things could be easy for me to handle.

These are some of the things happened to me in my high school life. Some obstacles I’ve passed, and difficulties I’ve struggled just to survive the circumstances that life could offers to me.

It became hard for me to trust someone again. Even though I have friends I never open my life to them, I don’t want to be judge again.

Those trials helped me a lot to become a better person right now. That it helps me to gain some friends and have faith to those who really love me.

My life gives me the courage to be more flexible in dealing with people. Even there were some flaws I experience, trying to be more optimistic with what happened to me. And it gives me a better picture of what life had.

God had a plan when bringing a person into my life, but had an even better plan when they walked out.

God's way is always the best way.

Hope I inspire you once again. Thank you. GODBLESS 

Bullying

What others say and do cannot stop you from fulfilling your destiny. Your destiny was handed down by ALMIGHTY GOD. We just need to trust GOD.

From the past and until now I experience being bullied by other people. They try to pull me down. 

Before the only thing I do is just to sit and cry.

In our school there is a boy that made me cry a lot. Sobrang nasaktan ako sa mga ginagawa nya. Kahit isang beses nya lang ako nakita ay sobrang tumatak yun sa isipan ko. Sinasabihan nya ako pilay tapos gagayanin nya pa kung paano ako maglakad. And I hate it. I hate that feeling on how they treat me. Parang ang liit-liit ko lalo. Sa school hindi maiiwasan sa bata ang maging matanong at tuksuhin ka sa kalagayan mo. Halos araw-araw nakikita ko sa mga mata nila na pinag uusapan ka, hindi man nila aminin sa akin pero ramdam kong iba ang tingin nila sa akin. Tiniis ko lahat ng ito, wala akong pinagsasabihin sa mga magulang ko dahil ayaw kong masaktan sila. The only thing I did was to keep in my mind that I have to finish my studies. Every year I pray that someday my parents would be proud of me, whatever achievements I have.   

Minsan may defender ako, ang kapatid kong mas bata pa sa akin, ang tagatanggol ko, tuwing umuuwi kami sa tanghali pero madalas, ako lang mag isa dahil hindi naman parehas ang schedule namin sa mga panahong yun lagi nagmamadali akong umuwi sa bahay para wala ng pagkakataong pagtawanan pa. Itinatago ko sa lahat na pagod na ako dahil ayaw kong masaktan sila at para marating ko ang pinapangarap ko. At hindi naman ako nabigo. Nakatapos ako kahit papano sa elementarya na may karangalang naibigay sa kanila.

After I passed that  challenges, may isang pagsubok pa ang dumating sa akin. Ang pagpasok ko sa high school ay naging isang big challenge para sa akin. Hindi pala dun natatapos ang mga pagsubok ko dahil naging steping stone ko lang ito para sa mas malaking journey ng buhay ko.

And being bullied by someone makes my parent being over protected and supportive with what I want… they always make sure that I’m ok.  And that’s what I am blessed to have a family like them.

And every journey that I had was a great experience to become a better person as of right now. Those tears in my eyes, will finally dry and will wipe away all the pain I have..  tears are prayers too. They travel to GOD when we can’t speak.

Trying to put me down won’t be easy, because now I have faith in GOD that he pick me up.

My SAVIOUR, DEFENDER AND CREATOR.

Pray with your heart and soul and God will listen.

Thank you and GODBLESS…. Hope I inspire you. =)